Today I watched a news report about the high probability of a large quake here in Northern California and Oregon, most likely to happen between March 19th and 26th.

I will be rehearsing for performances of Brahms’s German Requiem.

I can feel this place of total fear as I think about the earthquakes. I was in Alaska for the 1964 quake that keeps having its “number” upped. Today I heard that that quake was said to be a 9.2. I was two years old, and didn’t think I remembered much of that quake until I was here in California for the ’89 quake (a 7.1). For about a week afterward I kept having the strangest dreams. I was surrounded by giants; I was able to walk underneath tables without ducking; I could see the trees outside my window bending down to touch the ground on both sides, swaying back and forth as if doing side bend toe touches. It took me a week to figure out that these were not strange dreams — these were the memories I had of the ’64 quake.

And now, I might be living through yet another major earthquake. My father once asked me why I thought it was that I needed to experience two major earthquakes and I had no answer. And I still have no answer. I may have an answer if this big quake comes to pass.

And in the meantime, I prepare. We live up “in the mountains”, so have a generator at the ready, and I’ve asked my husband to get the gas for it. We’ve got some, but not the full complement because we’ve had to use the generator a few times already this winter.

And I’m off to Costco to pick up bottled water, even though we’ve got a well, and canned soups and chilis and chicken, veggies, etc. Plus, it’s time to restock the candles and first aid supplies. It feels good to be doing something rather than “stewing” about what it might be like.

I catch myself starting to wind up the fear, with no breath and crazy thoughts, and then I head out to the labyrinth. I’m glad that I can use that to quickly and easily get back into a state of calm. I know how to do that without the labyrinth, of course, but it’s nice to have that as well.

So, I’m breathing and preparing and breathing some more as I head into this next week. Looking forward to singing some breathtakingly beautiful music.