Be prepared, as through life you march a long,
Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well,
Don’t write naughty words on walls if you can’t spell . . .
Boy, do I love Tom Lehrer and his clever lyrics and singable songs.
And, yes, I feel much more prepared for whatever the next moment may bring.
The pantry is now filled with canned goods, water, medical supplies. Oh, I forgot to get more candles. Well, that’s on the next list then. I’ve got candles, but I like to have lots of candles, so it’s a great excuse to buy more!
On the way back to the labyrinth today, I had the thought to check the level on the propane tank. It’s at 30 percent. They usually come and fill it when it’s around 25%, but it felt good to call and get that delivery scheduled, rather than just waiting for it to happen.
And, so, after moving the fear through me yesterday, and acknowledging that I’m committed to scaring myself, I let the one who likes to get scared out into the open to be seen. She was so excited! I think I let out a little scream of excitement when Diana asked if I was willing to acknowledge her.
That may sound a little vague and possibly confusing. So, I’ll explain a little bit. My beloved husband and I go to “Mastership Circles for Committed Couples” every two weeks, led by the incomparable Diana and Matt Chapman. I love that I walked into the Mastership Circle completely freaking out, crying so hard that I was gulping air (but only for a short bit as I spoke about how scared I was), and by the time I left, two hours later, I was laughing and joyous. Solidly so, not “on top of” the fear that I walked in with, but having moved through the fear.
Sometimes the labyrinth is not enough. Sometimes I need people to help me move through things. Last night I needed people who could see me and show me what they were seeing and people who were working through their own stuff.
And sometimes, like last week when I was so angry, I was able to move through the anger with the labyrinth. In the moment, I know what I need (unless of course I’m completely crazy, and then if I can, I ask for help.)
Just tallying up the tools in my toolbox, and the supplies in my pantry and feeling like I am as prepared as I can be in this moment, and we’ll see what the next moment brings.
