No, this is not an art lesson. Here’s what happened. I was on my way to breakfast with a friend this morning. I’d dressed casually, black cords, brightish green striped top, no makeup, bag across my chest (the way I wore my purse in New York), striding down Pacific avenue towards Hoffman’s Cafe.
A man, walking down the street towards me smiled and said, “I’m surprised your husband lets you out of the house.”
I was confused by the statement because of his smile. And because of my reaction. In years past, I would have automatically assumed that he meant that I was too fat, too ugly, whatever, to be let out of the house. Just typing that now makes me feel a little nauseous (or nauseated, I can never remember how those two words work. . . I’m sure someone will know and help me out with the correct word.). But today, my first thought was, “Wow, I must be looking pretty good!”
Now, I’m still technically obese (just over that line according to the AMA), my hair is mostly grey, and I’m clearly middle-aged. However, these days I feel like I radiate so much light that those “facts” become assets. I like how this feels.
My hope is to get to a point where I always assume that people are saying good things about me.
Mostly, I’m thinking about where I was four or five years ago, in terms of how I saw myself, or rather how I thought others saw me. It makes me sad to think about how hard I’ve been on myself for so many years. The person who has been the most critical of me has been me. In fact, I imagine that many of the statements that I perceived as being critical, may not have been meant that way at all, but it was how I took them.
So, perspective. Perspective is everything. How I look at the world determines how the world looks to me. This week the weather is gorgeous. Sunny, clear, slight crisp feeling in the air. My favorite time of year. Would that I always looked at the world through crisp fall air.
*smiling* I think that’s my new year’s resolution: to look at my world through crisp, fall air with the clarity that comes with the changing of the angle of the sun, so that the light actually looks different.
How do you see the world?